Fire Hazard Wizard
Hey Pinhead! Just cause your dog shit on my lawn, don’t mean you gotta burn a couple incenses on it. This was freshly installed Bermuda sod, my chances to win lawn of the month is all gone. Thanks alot you fire hazard wizard! I hope you lose that costume contest that you’ve been working so hard on all year long. It’s hot outside! Aren’t you hot in that costume? I sure hope you clean that damn costume because your cone face don’t got a nose hole. Smelling like blubber under there, whole body odor is flammable under there. Ya got a problem with the gays but you may be the one that’s potentially flaming. I tell ya, head on home and go rest till tomorrow because you can’t do anything right today. Ya let the school kids trick you into not outgrowing the dunce hat. That’s the problem! Ashamed in letting people know who’s under that, turned a small into a tight medium and put eye holes on it for navigation. In the process of doing so, the spanish beat you to the cone head idea. I want names, Who hurt you? Who the hell called my baby boy ugly? Everybody should be allowed to show their face in town. Go watch Rocky Dennis if you’re feeling ugly because he ain’t need no mask for any task. Can’t spell right either; who let you fellas publish books? You might be special with the way you throw the letter “K” around like your Mr. Kellogg. I’m a bit blind but what kind of logo is bestowing your chest? I’m a bit blind but it looks like a strawberry shortcake emblem. Strawberry Shortcake secret society has a nice ring to it. You are supposed to bring terror with your appearance, you bring as much terror as a haunted house you marshmallow fuck. This is the weakest terrorist group on the list, the Taliban has you beat in the overall presentation every year. The only people you are terrorizing right now is people with strawberry jam allergies. Speaking of allergies, are ya allergic to people? You got this long list of stuff your allergic to, you even got lost in the plot and added your own kind of people. I seen fellas paler than that robe ya got on and they wouldn’t be invited in. You can’t claim supremacy when ya pink like strawberry shortcake filling! People who are allergic to people just have anxiety and that is nothing to be ashamed of. I know you hate cats who lick themselves but I got a feeling that you’ll enjoy a licking cat. All that hate or hurt in you is misguided passion! Out there in the woods burning sticks like a caveman just cause you scared of who runs the television programing. Y’all fire hazard wizards might be pyromaniacs, which is kinky in my books. I seen your buddies on the television, on two different news channels and I think that pulls the rug from under you. What you guys even do out in Tennessee for fun anyways? The rock and roll ain’t apart of the supremacy when they got Chuck Berry mentioned before Jerry Lee. Beautiful BBQ out in memphis but the slaves got to the idea before yall did. Can’t even make a sandwich because the people who run the media beat you to the deli meats. Just have to settle with cornflake crusted cornbread once again. Still riding horses cause Ford now has plants in Mexico and Canada. It’s very limiting being a marshmallow conehead from the strawberry shortcake secret society when you think about it. It’s so limiting that I believe you guys take these shifts throughout the weekdays or weekends. It’s a business decision to be a racist these days. Ain’t no conehead only establishment gone survive in this economy. Not because of the discrimination, it’s more has to do with knowing your audience. Ya wrote the stereotypes but can’t remember them! Are the latins lazy or are they taking the jobs? The SSSS for short wasn’t the flashy ones that spent money. Imagine a footlocker for only coneheads, the lights and air conditioner will be gone the first month. You a fire hazard wizard with that dunce cap scraping the ceiling of the hardware store. What’s with this wizard shit anyways? Are ya rolling twenty sided dice down in Memphis? They call the people that play the board game dorks but I’m starting to think we have a new contender. At least those people don’t actually believe they are wizards. You guys got a secretary and even a fucking nighthawk. Cmon, I know a native american name when I see one. Even Mortal Kombat has Nightwolf, which is close enough to stop the charades. Can’t do anything original. Listen here you fire hazard wizard, let me teach you something about life. It ain’t fair anywhere, not even at the county fair. I hate people as much you do but I also hate mondays and other things equally because i’m a player hater. That’s the difference between us, I’m a player hater and you are a confused sensitive wizard. Real hating is an artform, i’m mad at anything that’s better than me currently and that’s what real hating is all about. I’ll hate but do nothing about it because I love the craft that much. What you do is not real hating, you’re supposed to hate until you can’t hate anymore! You sensitive swine will kill because you confused hate with hurt and can’t hate like me. I hate that you got grass stains on that robe, wasted perfectly good silk on a strawberry shortcake like you!