RAMBLINGS
This page shall act as some sort of a blog, a series of sporadic writings and a meeting of the minds for monologues. I’m years removed from my local community college, so academic writings will not be at the forefront. I used to write stories and wanted to be a writer in the early 2000s but George W. Bush ruined it for me, months after 9/11. These scriptures will tackle topics or thoughts that life brings forth me when I’m looking for it most of the times. These thoughts or topics usually arise while on lunch break or stuck in standstill traffic on the highway. One of these days, the cola will get ahold of me and make me fax some of these to Letterman, that’s if he’s still around of course. Plans might backfire on me like John Hinckley jr. I’ve been told that I write like Travis Bickle in his journal entries by strangers, I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Thank you for reading on your spare time!
Muzzle
Muzzle
If there’s something to be said then i’ll say it to the fella in charge from outside of the tall building. Down but not out like a man with muscular dystrophy; don’t you pu...
Shelled Peanut
Shelled Peanut
My friend, we meet again in between the bends. Mighty fine complementary companion that this bowl of shelled peanuts had become. The sports is on in the tavern and I saved a seat for...
Sharing is Caring
Sharing is Caring
A bum today is a bum tomorrow and a bum for awhile, born to lose or bound to lose. Regardless, there are still some things that can’t be unlearned and sharing is caring desp...
Fire Hazard Wizard
Fire Hazard Wizard
Hey Pinhead! Just cause your dog shit on my lawn, don’t mean you gotta burn a couple incenses on it. This was freshly installed Bermuda sod, my chances to win lawn of the m...
Ribs & Liquor
Ribs & Liquor
Being handled by a handle of brown, i’m more sauced than the pork on the plate. I was too stiff before the ribs and liquor but now, I can’t stand. Watch out for that b...
Hung From The Rafters or Just A Clothesline
Hung From The Rafters Or Just A Clothesline
Head held high, all there’s left is a man’s pride and a knuckle sandwich. Will my work windbreaker ever be hung from the rafters or just a cl...
In The Court Of The Jester
In The Court Of The Jester
Back from delivering a message to the town over but not a peep from the town folk, where did everyone go? Stepping in the King’s court is now like stepping in the c...
Street Preacher Man
Street Preacher Man
Hair got more oil than iraq, don’t come near me with no damn lit match. They said the world is ending but there’s a catch, it ain’t for the street preacher man...
Pharmacy Hours
Pharmacy Hours
These rattles don’t rattle anymore; they were produced under the authority of Dr Pepper. Darn pharmacy hours is disrespecting me again, irregular like a heartbeat. At least let...
Porcelain teeth
Porcelain Teeth
Ya lied to me, through them porcelain teeth. You spoke your peace, it was a real piece of shit from the toilet seat. Before I came in, your teeth were chattering from the emptiness ...
Bus Stop Renaissance
Bus Stop Renaissance
This hoodie gone hug me, hug me like a sleeping bag or a bodybag. The park ranger said no more sleeping on the park bench; I declare there be a bus stop renaissance! I promise ...
Peppermint On Pillow
Peppermint On Pillow
Mama, I’ve been compromised. There’s a swirly on my made bed, a fucking peppermint on my pillow! Got to make my own waffle for the first but someone slunk into my r...
Coca-Cola Fella
Coca-Cola Fella
Fitted in velour and not no velvet or velveteen, the Coca-Cola fella needs all the stretch there can be. Middle of the dying mall, taking up the army recruiter’s spot when he ...
Pinball Machinery
Pinball Machinery
Hotdawg, they done got to me through another one! Ice picked through the glass like it was the last block of ice at the wedding, people are sweating. I outta sniff a line of glass...
Puffer Coat
Puffer Coat
I’m telling ya, this ole thing was used in dog attack seminars. It’ll last you through two winters and a tour in Afghanistan but what do I know. I’m just some man with...
Stacked Shoeboxes
Stacked Shoeboxes
You be careful with those shoeboxes buddy, there’s a gun in one of them. I ain’t took none of your talent show shoes, don’t you ask me all these questions while ...
Cut Up A Rug
Cut Up A Rug
Music to my ears is when the cashier gives me back the change that i’m owed, can’t leave till I get it. Rigor mortis sets until I get it, cold like war but not to the core ...
King Of Nothing
King Of Nothing
If there was ever something, then it left me and became nothing. Middle of the pack like a set of buck teeth, ain’t the canines or the molars. Hidden in plain sight just like ...
Sandwich
Sandwiches
I’ve been thinking, thinking about how the Sandwich is the working man’s meal and it’s been bastardized in recent times. For decades, making the Sandwich has been the m...
Argentine Ice Breaker
Argentine Ice Breaker
I talked to an Argentinean Gentleman the other day and he is a Gasoline Mechanic, it might have been my first encounter with an argent. Prior to that, the closest encounter I&...
The Spirit Of Jimmy Hoffa
The Spirit Of James Hoffa
Let me tell you something, I said I says let me tell ya something. I’m tired of these public sector workers, specifically these manual labor city workers in my neck ...
A Jim Dies, Another Jim Is Alive
A Jim Dies, Another Jim Is Alive
There’s this saying that seems like it will stand the test of time, “When one door closes, another door opens”. The sliver of a gripe I have when ...
Slinky
Slinky
Generations of American humans differ from one another in many ways, as we grow apart and expand our horizon throughout the years. Somethings that will be seen today, wouldn’t pass a c...
Bank Bathroom
Bank Bathroom
I understand that it’s a restroom and not a bathroom but hold your horses, let me adjust my tie. I got the a/c kicking and this fudge bar wants to act as a broach on this three ...
Vaseline Scream
Vaseline Scream
The healing power of Vaseline unfortunately has its limitations. One surprising limitation when it comes to the body lotion is sex, it’s not for sexual use. This must be a ne...
The Game Of Unfair
The Game Of Unfair
“Spin to win” they said, “Safe Route or Risky Road” they said. Got dropped off in Hollywood, might as well gamble with the gambling gamblers. If you belie...
Rockabilly Rodent
Rockabilly Rodent
I ain’t no hillbilly, just lived right outside of a city in the south and was a bit dirty. Only stepped foot into the city for grain, meat, and berries because nothing grew ...
Rose Tinted Glasses
Rose Tinted Glasses
Man, how do you see out of these spectacles? My eyes hurt now, might as well be blind because all you’re doing is lying to yourself. I don’t know how these X-Men can...
Jim Dandy
Jim Dandy
Very routine Thursday. After tossing and turning all over the bed till slumber creeps in, morning begins. Woke up at the same six am time but wasn’t clocked in for the day, so in be...
Velvet Rope
Velvet Rope
Stand over there and not here, way over there! I’m talking about over there, do you see where that fountain of water is at? You sit there but on the other side so you aren’t...
Peanut Butter Man
Peanut Butter Man
I don’t care who invented it, I just need it like you need me to keep you entertained. It’s my heroin, it’s my cocaine. I’ll carve out a new fate for you,...
Houndstooth Hound Dawg
Houndstooth Hound Dawg
Jobs slowing down then theses checks done broke me again, time for me and the old man to go back to the ole trade. I told the old man that the tile business gone slow down on...
Roll Of Quarters
Roll Of Quarters
The gears are turning and the teeth are grinding like were nearing the end to this jawbreaker. Lived a little over a quarter of life, cranking out a whole bunch of temporaries. Mem...
Standing Outside The Liquor Store
Standing Outside The Liquor Store
I’m outside, by the no loitering sign. I’m not even sure why I picked the liquor store as the place to be picked up at, it smells over here but there&#...
Midnight Mailbox
Midnight Mailbox
In the bushes, in the mailbox is where I stay for the time being. It’s like something out of a cartoon; all four legs sunk in the dirt like a plumber. The key is snapped off ...
The Charleston Screw
The Charleston Screw
Dangle you off the tallest building there is down by the shoreline I says we should do with ya. Turn Myrtle beach into Murder beach for a couple minutes, you wouldn’t hea...
Ogre In My Silo
Ogre In My Silo
There’s an Ogre in my silo, I can see em through the window! The cops won’t believe what I see, I refuse to be the laughing stock of the town like the fella named Rasput...
Flooded Diamond Field
Flooded Diamond Field
The Diamond field is flooded, mother nature had a field day during the early hours. We got a set of dugouts that are filled with men that are angry and are ready to wield a ba...
Double Decker Twilight Double Header
Double Decker Twilight Double Header
Been up for two days, back to back from night to day. Everything is moving slow like an inning in baseball. My breathing is so slow, takes me two minutes to say...
Lizard Brain Within The Tassel
Lizard Brain Within The Tassel
The Kraken was released when I followed the tumbleweed from town to town, it couldn’t be set back into place. The fucker would often lie to me, left out to die ...
Lucky Rubber Ducky
Lucky Rubber Ducky
Lucky rubber duck, we must pray that it never speaks beyond of the language of squeaks. Don’t give it the option of having to explain what it has seen, it’s seen it a...
Fallen Spiced Bread Men
Fallen Spiced Bread Men
Not even born yet and I already got spice in my system, we must be in Florida for the winter vacation. Where’s my motivation, what’s my calling in life? My aunt ...
Running Shoes On Track One
Running Shoes On Track One
Mr Scholl’s insoles is the price of shoes these days, I’m tired of getting fucked by the doctors at this old age. They give me a whole new bucket list filled ...
Jimbo In Ah Jam
Jimbo In Ah Jam
This Chicken potpie is frozen cold for the upteenth time, the chicken must have died of hypothermia before it was envisioned as food. Ain’t been home for days, the backseat of...
Harpoon Is My Harp
Harpoon Is My Harp
Thar he goes above the mantel like a rubber talking fish that is glued to a piece of wood with a red button. Wailing for sleep, i’d drown in this Alaskan king sized bed if ...
Pop Gun In Pop Truck
Pop Gun In Pop Truck
In the dry county, I got a target on me. The mountain lion has a bone to pick with the bone in round steak that is in my luggage. The local government put all this pressure on ...
Hocus Pocus
Hocus Pocus
The metal prickly things hit me when I wasn’t looking. I was looking but it’s like looking out of binoculars, I need third person perspective sometimes. I need the perspecti...
Foam Chair
Foam Chair
I walked in there and all was there was a small foam chair. This studio apartment is supposed to be vacant. I hope the toddler that was here prior is being well fed and overall, taken ca...