RAMBLINGS
This page shall act as some sort of a blog, a series of sporadic writings and a meeting of the minds for monologues. I’m years removed from my local community college, so academic writings will not be at the forefront. I used to write stories and wanted to be a writer in the early 2000s but George W. Bush ruined it for me, months after 9/11. These scriptures will tackle topics or thoughts that life brings forth me when I’m looking for it most of the times. These thoughts or topics usually arise while on lunch break or stuck in standstill traffic on the highway. One of these days, the cola will get ahold of me and make me fax some of these to Letterman, that’s if he’s still around of course. It might backfire on me like John Hinckley jr. Thank you for reading on your spare time!
Stacked Shoeboxes
Stacked Shoeboxes
You be careful with those shoeboxes buddy, there’s a gun in one of them. I ain’t took none of your talent show shoes, don’t you ask me all these questions while ...
Cut Up A Rug
Cut Up A Rug
Music to my ears is when the cashier gives me back the change that i’m owed, can’t leave till I get it. Rigor mortis sets until I get it, cold like war but not to the core ...
King Of Nothing
King Of Nothing
If there was ever something, then it left me and became nothing. Middle of the pack like a set of buck teeth, ain’t the canines or the molars. Hidden in plain sight just like ...
Lend Me A Light
Lend Me A Light
Give me a break like a king sized Kit-Kat wafer during the darkest hours. Puddled on the floor like some bell bottoms from the psychedelic seventies. Deep end into the night, Lend m...
Stand There And Sell These
Stand There And Sell These
Under the highway we will sleep, stand there and sell these honey buns for me. The car is in the shop, my turf toe won’t let me go home. The driver drove far to see...
Porch Pirate
Porch Pirate
A shelter that is the size of two cargo containers resides down hill, the delivery man parks at the top cause he’d be dead if he tried to round the cul-de-sac to go back. He feel...
Popped Collar
Popped Collar
This work shirt is moss on a tree for me, it won’t leave me. The collar is propped up, let it defend the wearer like a propeller. A lizard lays it’s dewlap down like a pil...
Floor Cleaner
Floor Cleaner
These elixirs are caving in the kitchen floors in the home that I built from the ground up like the floor in Super Mario 64, I got to step out my room with caution. Swiffer ain’...
Run With Scissors
Run With Scissors
Doing the unthinkable, I run with scissors. This kind of weaponry is on me as I go around the park at this time of day. Toast to my cardiologist, he speaks of my organ like he wan...
Slap You Silly
Slap You Silly
It’s never a good look when you have to drag around a grown man that is laid over in the backseat with the roof cut back on the vehicle. The little orange screwdriver is sharp ...
More Limits On The Sky
More Limits On The Sky
The bus driver wants more limits on the sky but no barricades on the rocket ships because the rocket ships can turn around towards the house. No need to send Lockheed Martin ...
No More Horseplay
No More Horseplay
Leave me out of this, leave me out of the buffoonery and the shenanigans. You been riding down life with the ego in the head inflamed like Nicholas Cage as set aside is stuff of i...
Silver Tongued Investor
Silver Tongued Investor
Upon the ledge of an old ongoing Steakhouse, Mr. Cotchery finds a way to make an ass out of himself every Saturday night. The investor loves to see a packed house at his loc...
Demolition Gloves
Demolition Gloves
Two months in and this shit is all just a rinse cycle. These demolition gloves got more holes than a whorish wedge of swiss cheese with “rent me” branded on it. Twenty...
Froth Out The Gills
Froth Out The Gills
At times you just gotta put your leather billfold wallet in your mouth, grit down on it and froth out the gills. Get it all out like a stupid dog with a squeaky toy, angrily hap...
Scrambled Keys
Scrambled Keys
Buzzsaw off the sleeves, this ring of scrambled keys will start chafing thy. Some of the keys have buck teeth, others are filed down like Freddie Blassie’s teeth. It takes a wh...
Stewed Apple
Stewed Apple
End of the week, the week’s groceries are looking meek. I should have picked up more than just beer and bread the night before, I did not think ahead. I wanted the ice packs to t...
Schizoid Serpent
Schizoid Serpent
The serpent is sliced up into four pieces, placed on the pricks of the pitchfork and swarming for the next life. Four more lives will come out of it alive, they will all hiss and s...
Sandwich
Sandwiches
I’ve been thinking, thinking about how the Sandwich is the working man’s meal and it’s been bastardized in recent times. For decades, making the Sandwich has been the m...
Argentine Ice Breaker
Argentine Ice Breaker
I talked to an Argentinean Gentleman the other day and he is a Gasoline Mechanic, it might have been my first encounter with an argent. Prior to that, the closest encounter I&...
The Spirit Of Jimmy Hoffa
The Spirit Of James Hoffa
Let me tell you something, I said I says let me tell ya something. I’m tired of these public sector workers, specifically these manual labor city workers in my neck ...
A Jim Dies, Another Jim Is Alive
A Jim Dies, Another Jim Is Alive
There’s this saying that seems like it will stand the test of time, “When one door closes, another door opens”. The sliver of a gripe I have when ...
Slinky
Slinky
Generations of American humans differ from one another in many ways, as we grow apart and expand our horizon throughout the years. Somethings that will be seen today, wouldn’t pass a c...
Bank Bathroom
Bank Bathroom
I understand that it’s a restroom and not a bathroom but hold your horses, let me adjust my tie. I got the a/c kicking and this fudge bar wants to act as a broach on this three ...
Vaseline Scream
Vaseline Scream
The healing power of Vaseline unfortunately has its limitations. One surprising limitation when it comes to the body lotion is sex, it’s not for sexual use. This must be a ne...
The Game Of Unfair
The Game Of Unfair
“Spin to win” they said, “Safe Route or Risky Road” they said. Got dropped off in Hollywood, might as well gamble with the gambling gamblers. If you belie...
Rockabilly Rodent
Rockabilly Rodent
I ain’t no hillbilly, just lived right outside of a city in the south and was a bit dirty. Only stepped foot into the city for grain, meat, and berries because nothing grew ...
Rose Tinted Glasses
Rose Tinted Glasses
Man, how do you see out of these spectacles? My eyes hurt now, might as well be blind because all you’re doing is lying to yourself. I don’t know how these X-Men can...
Jim Dandy
Jim Dandy
Very routine Thursday. After tossing and turning all over the bed till slumber creeps in, morning begins. Woke up at the same six am time but wasn’t clocked in for the day, so in be...
Velvet Rope
Velvet Rope
Stand over there and not here, way over there! I’m talking about over there, do you see where that fountain of water is at? You sit there but on the other side so you aren’t...
Peanut Butter Man
Peanut Butter Man
I don’t care who invented it, I just need it like you need me to keep you entertained. It’s my heroin, it’s my cocaine. I’ll carve out a new fate for you,...
Houndstooth Hound Dawg
Houndstooth Hound Dawg
Jobs slowing down then theses checks done broke me again, time for me and the old man to go back to the ole trade. I told the old man that the tile business gone slow down on...
Roll Of Quarters
Roll Of Quarters
The gears are turning and the teeth are grinding like were nearing the end to this jawbreaker. Lived a little over a quarter of life, cranking out a whole bunch of temporaries. Mem...
Standing Outside The Liquor Store
Standing Outside The Liquor Store
I’m outside, by the no loitering sign. I’m not even sure why I picked the liquor store as the place to be picked up at, it smells over here but there&#...
Midnight Mailbox
Midnight Mailbox
In the bushes, in the mailbox is where I stay for the time being. It’s like something out of a cartoon; all four legs sunk in the dirt like a plumber. The key is snapped off ...
The Charleston Screw
The Charleston Screw
Dangle you off the tallest building there is down by the shoreline I says we should do with ya. Turn Myrtle beach into Murder beach for a couple minutes, you wouldn’t hea...
Ogre In My Silo
Ogre In My Silo
There’s an Ogre in my silo, I can see em through the window! The cops won’t believe what I see, I refuse to be the laughing stock of the town like the fella named Rasput...
Flooded Diamond Field
Flooded Diamond Field
The Diamond field is flooded, mother nature had a field day during the early hours. We got a set of dugouts that are filled with men that are angry and are ready to wield a ba...
Double Decker Twilight Double Header
Double Decker Twilight Double Header
Been up for two days, back to back from night to day. Everything is moving slow like an inning in baseball. My breathing is so slow, takes me two minutes to say...
Lizard Brain Within The Tassel
Lizard Brain Within The Tassel
The Kraken was released when I followed the tumbleweed from town to town, it couldn’t be set back into place. The fucker would often lie to me, left out to die ...
Lucky Rubber Ducky
Lucky Rubber Ducky
Lucky rubber duck, we must pray that it never speaks beyond of the language of squeaks. Don’t give it the option of having to explain what it has seen, it’s seen it a...
Fallen Spiced Bread Men
Fallen Spiced Bread Men
Not even born yet and I already got spice in my system, we must be in Florida for the winter vacation. Where’s my motivation, what’s my calling in life? My aunt ...
Running Shoes On Track One
Running Shoes On Track One
Mr Scholl’s insoles is the price of shoes these days, I’m tired of getting fucked by the doctors at this old age. They give me a whole new bucket list filled ...
Jimbo In Ah Jam
Jimbo In Ah Jam
This Chicken potpie is frozen cold for the upteenth time, the chicken must have died of hypothermia before it was envisioned as food. Ain’t been home for days, the backseat of...
Harpoon Is My Harp
Harpoon Is My Harp
Thar he goes above the mantel like a rubber talking fish that is glued to a piece of wood with a red button. Wailing for sleep, i’d drown in this Alaskan king sized bed if ...
Pop Gun In Pop Truck
Pop Gun In Pop Truck
In the dry county, I got a target on me. The mountain lion has a bone to pick with the bone in round steak that is in my luggage. The local government put all this pressure on ...
Hocus Pocus
Hocus Pocus
The metal prickly things hit me when I wasn’t looking. I was looking but it’s like looking out of binoculars, I need third person perspective sometimes. I need the perspecti...
Foam Chair
Foam Chair
I walked in there and all was there was a small foam chair. This studio apartment is supposed to be vacant. I hope the toddler that was here prior is being well fed and overall, taken ca...